Timelines are disjointed Without context appointed By the everyday It's in the days of no words That life continues forwards But they're wished away Images of fear Representing no one near Define the epoch Passing of the hours Disregarding flowers Heterotypic Leaves turn Their brightest hues And then saunter down Tumbling paths On currents Intercepting Til' they touch the ground But the aftermath Once they find their place They are blown away But they don't seem to Feel led astray As they take new meanings Day by day Never rushing much Closer to decay They'll last longer in our memories In our photos and our imagery Longer there than ever on the tree Did they ever care or was it just me Getting caught in the pathetic fallacy Hoping to find meaning where there couldn't be And so we create iconicity Staying within Nietzsche's niche Or behind Kierkegaard's guard Dichotomizing Self-referential codes for blooming Make the seasons all-consuming Up until the Spring Still every dictionary Has an eponymous entry To define this rhyme So every cyclical moment Must be equally important In fractals of time Leaves turn Their brightest hues And then saunter down Tumbling paths On currents Intercepting Til they touch the ground But the aftermath Once they find their place They are blown away But they don't seem to Feel led astray As they take new meanings Day by day Never rushing much Closer to decay They'll last longer in our memories In our photos and our imagery Longer there than ever on the tree Did they ever care or was it just me Getting caught in the pathetic fallacy Hoping to find meaning where there couldn't be In symbolism and intentionality Ascribing meaning to our metaphors Where the meaning has been met before And metaphors to understand our meaning Which exists by virtue of existing Did they ever care or was it just me Getting caught in the pathetic fallacy Hoping to find meaning where there couldn't be And so we create iconicity

Everybody is apart Everybody is away from each other Stuck and stranded, busy and far Room for error leaving room for scars Fates to outsmart, though the fates are uncharted Path's been covered by mud Tangled lives, diverging blind Far away from one another Couldn't fight the pulling tides Readjust or recover Safety's pulling at my nape Hooking me away from dangerous cover Everyone else fends for themselves Leaves me quaking, aching, gaping Terrible shapes from which to escape How many times with this luck Tangled lives, diverging blind Far away from one another Couldn't fight the pulling tides Readjust or recover Can't keep track of people's lives Anxious for a breath of "somebody's happy" Don't wanna see how frail and light... Swept clean away, new storms everyday The four at five could any day take a dive When sixes and sevens are the norm Yeah, sixes and sevens are the norm Tangled lives, diverging blind Far away from one another Couldn't fight the pulling tides Readjust or recover

Mirror of a photograph Stained glass shadowed epitaph Reading of times come to pass Where once your self stood too Dusty rabbits traipse the ground Their footprints covered by a mound Of soot that does not make a sound Unlike the ghost of you Specter hovers above the floor The cut out shape of silence more Than I can take, how I deplore Remnants of what I rue I can't return I can't escape Outside or in I see your face And just when it seems gone You occupy my room You occupy my mind You occupy my sight You occupy my time And you're not even here Corners of a hazy place Mementos of long gone days Thickets overgrown with distaste They’re plaguing what I see Black ice under a wheelchair Slipping hard down frozen stairs Till its contents are laid bare When out falls me Severed links of iron, wrought Cut by criminals you’ve taught That break chains to forge we’ve fought And plea to get out free I can't return I can't escape Outside or in I see your face And just when it seems gone You occupy my room You occupy my mind You occupy my sight You occupy my time And you're not even here Twigs fall freely from the nest Brooms stand still at my behest Self imposing house arrest But this time I’m alone Deathbed of our pillow talks Praying simply to out-walk The circling of overhead hawks To shelter, I will go Out of breath from running far From problems, like a house of horrors Reflection’s a funhouse, bizarre My face I do not know The memories from who knows when Just sharpen knives of butchering That carve up reminiscent men Who seek the past as denizens But I can’t be here again I can't return I can't escape Outside or in I see your face And just when it seems gone You occupy my room You occupy my mind You occupy my sight You occupy my time And you're not even here You’re not even here Why does it feel like You’re still Here?

I get high off your scent Find it when you are away Let it free my heart aflutter Let it lift afloat my brain Send me reeling down a stream Of memories Where I see your face again Feel your hand in mine like Why Have you taken it away Deprived me of my drug Like you were worried I'd get hooked Well maybe you were right But I found some more tonight See I thought my last dose was stronger Thought it'd last a little longer I've found it once more now Despite how far you are And desperate for a hit I let it Rip the scar Wide open that you left Leaving me a bloody mess But that's not much a problem When I'm floating far away Why have you taken it away Deprived me of my drug Like you were worried I'd get hooked Well maybe you were right But I found some more tonight I thought my last dose was stronger Thought it'd last a little longer As I saw only illusion Fumbling just to get back home Running circles in my mind Til I knew I was alone Only then was it made clear That you wouldn't come near The scent of you still lingered But it's never coming back Why have you taken it away Deprived me of my drug Like you were worried I'd get hooked Well maybe you were right But I found some more tonight See I thought my last dose was stronger Thought it'd last a little longer Oh I should never Have found it Have found you again Olfactory Why do you do this to me

Over, under, out, and into wonder Falling, tumbling, spiraling too Space and time from life are ripped asunder And it's beautiful Nights I'm glad to behold Without a doubt Seeing secret worlds untold By ripping through My light Motivations stolen Then derived From them False sight Watching fire and flame my gaze is growing old in I burn my house for to infernos I'm beholden And it's beautiful for now it's golden Yes it's beautiful Nights I'm glad to behold Without a doubt Seeing secret worlds untold By ripping through My light Motivations stolen Then derived From them False sight This light I see inside of me Is sucking out the life in me Opening up to empty me It's all the joy I once built up set free Turn the tap off to stop the rushing water Outside out, inside in, to create an order And the time I've left just grows shorter Every part you see's polarity The long and short, the trapped and free The out and in, other and me The weak and strong, my life's directory And it's beautiful Nights I'm glad to behold Without a doubt Seeing secret worlds untold By ripping through My light Motivations stolen Then derived From them False sight I've burned through countless memories of childhood If I could take it back I don't know I would I've seen the best and worst that my mind could And it's beautiful Nights I'm glad to behold This light inside of me Is sucking out the life in me Opening up to empty me It's all the joy I once built up The long and short, the trapped and free The out and in, other and me The weak and strong, down and happy This way and that, it's all polarity

I don't really ever have my Shit together I'm just stressed enough that my Responsibilities are stapled To the front of my Conscious Mind I promise I didn't forget aboutcha It's just I'm completely incapable of Sticking to an Order I don't mean to reprimand ya But why the hell did you forget about The things you said that we would do Tomorrow Cause it's tomorrow And I'm here Waiting for Today to start Sweetheart I know that I can make you wait sometimes But that's only cause I'm always in a rush So when you dawdle I'm left thinking bout The lack of limitations in The time that we could Waste Doing something Just something Else Yeah you’re doing your due diligence But really it’s an inefficient Way of getting out the way The work that I procrastinate So here we are just pushing off Our playtime with some stay time And it’s boxing off The ways to spend The day I’d say That’s it’s worth Suffocating later To poke our heads outside And procrastinate As our date Tonight You see my dear I cannot quite help it I wish I wasn't always in a rush So when we dawdle maybe I can think On all the time we spent right here That would have gone to waste if we were Doing something Doing something else Doing something Just doing something

It could be Exhaustion, nerves, or anxiety Or, maybe pure Bliss from a memory Euphoria Had descended, thick like a blanket We surrendered into that moment Into the warmth A spark from the kindling wood Growing in power, engulfing a great space And as our lives were enlaced The fire was all we understood I had my heart set I had no control Forecasting blindly Nothing was clear but our lives for an instant Friction and heat giving free energy Rippling through us that night It captured the entirety Of my fleeting attention No matter when it was over It never left me A spark from the kindling wood Growing in power, engulfing a great space And as our lives were enlaced The fire was all we understood I was younger then I’ve grown Disguising The intricacies As spirit and need Fanning the flames with a carefree air (A spark from the kindling wood) Disguising (Growing in power, engulfing a great space) The intricacies (And as our lives were enlaced) As spirit and need (The fire was all we understood) Fanning the flames with a carefree air A high A buzzing A reinvigoration A high A buzzing A reinvigoration A high A buzzing A reinvigoration

In a futile endeavor To count out my last days I procured an abacus And candle clock to set ablaze Once, the abacus was gold The clock was wicked and waxed But foolish me, the gold tarnished The candle waned and then collapsed And as the days passed me by I didn’t get to count The clock ticked out irregular The days were an indefinite amount And wondering what followed Was cause not to see All that I had hoped for were some final Halcyon memories Next I strung a rope above Not from which to swing Planning only to climb up And find a spot to latch a string From this string new threads would conjure Stable ports of call A feeble means of locating Solace, impenetrable And as the days passed me by I didn’t get to count The clock ticked out irregular The days were an indefinite amount And wondering what followed Was cause not to see All that I had hoped for were some final Halcyon memories Whether forwards or before I know I’d leave behind My pale pyrite abacus And ashes with my peace of mind Misgivings and uncertainty So easy to deplore Are real, unrelenting, and As such, refuse to be ignored And as the days passed me by I didn’t get to count The clock ticked out irregular The days were an indefinite amount And wondering what followed Was cause not to see All that I had hoped for were some final Halcyon memories So as my solace light to the sky The rope and string ablaze I watch the swirling tufts of smoke And finally time meets my gaze The abacus, unmelting, tilts And, gleaming, counts to none The candle, similarly, knows Its days of burning time are done

You taught me how to drink iced coffee Crunch the sugar from the bottom As you savor every sip So that it lingers Till the ice cubes melt You taught me how to pick out music Powerful and bittersweet With poignancy masked under poise And packaged like the stillest waters Subtle in its strength You taught me how to show myself Refined yet unabated And respected and reserved When faced with undeserving audience I could see myself through your eyes As you reflected in mine Did I ever love you Or did I love thinking you loved me? No, I almost (surely) definitely (probably) loved you Cause that deep infatuation Was just when you were the best thing near And when you weren’t near And it still stuck I knew (Think) that I loved you When I wanted to be With you more than I Wanted to be with Anyone else, myself included That’s when I knew all Hope for me was lost And it checks out That I set up No checks and balances When writing you those blank checks For my heart You even checked To make sure it was all but gone The last time I knew you I could love you completely And I don’t know what you did with yours But I’m more guarded with my half Of the last grounds and dredges Of my heart’s savings When I heard you’d Lost in love Yeah when I heard you Tripped and broke your heart And when you told me I was right About it all How love should go I didn’t hear the words So much as bittersweet Symphonic, tasteless Music to my ears And I still wasn’t complete But the wound mended And you know My whole damn life I’ve continued to change And you should know My goddamn strife Is feeling like I’ve stayed the same When I see just how much you’ve grown Or maybe we’ve just grown apart But even still I took the path I thought I saw your Influence’s Ghost floating along So maybe I’m more Of what I thought you were Than you ever have been And that makes me An imitation of My own imagination Kept waiting for the day (Kept waiting to force) I’d see you change (A change) To who I thought you’d be By being just a shitty friend And manipulating Until I'd lost what influence I had left over over you So while I like you I don’t love you But at least I don’t still hate you Kinda sorta want to love you And of course you’re not really supposed to say Those kinds of things but now I do Because of you And how I thought you’d Be to me I wanted to Put on some old tunes As we drove to get coffee Put my first quarter in the meter Before I had enough change Cause I didn’t want to wait for change But now I have to I didn’t want to wait for change, of course But now I fucking have to So I guess I’m wasting pennies But that’s ok now Cause fuck those pennies They were already a waste of an idea That was fought so hard to implement Against the odds which probably should have Been a clue to quit despite The sunken costs just like For me and you

Happy endings, happy endings To the daydreams, baby Thought I could have 'em today But I just pushed to tomorrow, oh Look, I spent time by myself When only time was at stake Shouldn't have done what I done Could've just dreamed what I dreamed And we wouldn't have ended up With so much sorrow But girl How could I know how you'd feel When my head was still on things unreal It may seem like I've already thought through All the best moments that I'll spend with you All the adventures All the things to Do But I Just barely stepped outside Yet All this time spent dazed and confused It makes it seem like I've fallen in some blues, oh Well, if so then at least I'll have a verse to borrow Oh, honey How could I know what I'd think The future's not so sealed in ink

It's a long time Until there's a chance to deal And such a long time Since I've been cut from this feeling It was our time To escape the world, unreal it And I've no time To preserve, replay, or seal it 'Cause the ending isn't chaptered Suddenly it's ever after And there is no tempered pause Between dread, sorrow, and laughter When it's over There's no time for song and dance Try to look back It's a momentary glance Such a long time It's a long, long time And the time Isn't ending It's just Here And it's sending Memories for free That end up Tautologies to me Till it's over But it's Starting